Thursday, September 30, 2010

ScreamFree- taking care of yourself

This will be the last post of quotes from this book, though I've only posted about half of the notes that I typed up.

This section reminded me of a quote from the scriptures (found both in the Book of Mormon and Bible; D&C 81:5 and Hebrews 12:12) which reads, "succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees." This would mean that you'd need to be on higher ground, already having helped or taken care of yourself, in order to then 'lift up' and help others.

And here are the quotes:
“...taking care of others necessarily means neglecting ourselves.....Other cultures have a very different take on self-care. The Hebrew Bible and, later, the Christian New Testament, seem to take self-love for granted. One of the great commandments in those scriptures is to 'Love thy neighbor as thyself.' Our culture would be in serious trouble if we put this into practice with our Western way of 'loving' ourselves. Think about it. What would it really look like to love your kids as little as you love yourself? Instead of packing a healthy food-pyramid lunch with a loving note tucked inside, you'd shove a half-eaten doughnut and a Thermos of stale coffee in their bookbags. What would it look like if you talked to your kids the way you talk to yourself after making a mistake? Most of us would berate them over and over, calling them names and finding it incredulous that they made the same mistake yet again.” pg. 189-190

“Think of how this approach might radically change your relationships with your kids. You seek your own validation from within yourself so that regardless of how your children feel, behave, talk, or think, you are okay and are still committed to them. Think of the power in saying with all your actions “I can take care of me so that you don't have to. I don't need you to appreciate me or validate me in order for me to still take care for you and of all of my responsibilities to you.'

“Loving yourself first is the only true way to be ScreamFree, because it is the only way to seek your own calm first. It is the only way to truly benefit your kids without burdening them with the need to benefit you. It is not their job- nor is it anyone else's- to meet your emotional and physical needs. As an adult, one who is responsible to so many others you love, it is up to you to pursue your own emotional fulfillment. This doesn't mean you don't ever need other people, not by a long shot. But it does mean that your life and your health are up to you. The sooner you embrace that truth and embrace the calling to love yourself first, the sooner you can truly serve all those around you, especially your kids.” pg.194-195

"I want you to think of it this way: What has to last is what has to come first. Your health. A broken body makes it extremely difficult to provide for and protect your children. Your health is not an 'extra' in your life, it is your first responsibility.” pg. 199-201

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